missing her

10 Jul

I’ve been in a funk. A missing my mom more than my heart can take funk. She loved the 4th of July and starting on the 3rd my heart began to ache. Badly. 

My mind can’t wrap around the fact that it has almost been 18 months. Almost a year and a half without her.

I don’t cry every day or even every week anymore, but I have cried every single day for the past week. I woke up this morning remembering the morning she went in for her first surgery. My sister spent the night at home with me the night before and we stayed up until probably 4 in the morning talking, watching movies, doing laundry… we just couldn’t sleep. My sisters and I walked down to surgery with my mom and I tried really hard to not cry, but I couldn’t help it. My mom held my hand, looked up at the doctor and said, “This is my baby”. 

I just miss her.

Advertisements

4 Responses to “missing her”

  1. livelifeforyourself July 10, 2012 at 11:27 am #

    Sorry for your loss, but stay strong. She doesn’t wanna see you upset, she’s looking down on you right now, and telling all her friends the same thing she told the doctor about you. Your mom is your Guardian Angel 🙂

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. friday letters « City Thoughts… - July 13, 2012

    […] Dear sweet friends, Thank you for sending me lovely texts, emails, and calls after my post earlier in the week. […]

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: